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Reviewed by Beverly Pechin for Reader Views

This is not another "How to Raise Your Kids" Instruction Book, written by those who have no children but all the knowledge of raising them because they read about it in some text book. I tire easily of those with degrees in child rearing who have never experienced the actual thing first hand, so my expectations when first looking at this type of book weren't that high. I figured Great, another know it all doctor who is going to tell you how to raise your kids; instead I began reading a true parent's ordeal with raising a daughter who began her life well-adjusted and nearly 'perfect' only to find nothing but a troubled life ahead.

Click here to read the rest of the review .

From Laurie O, Dallas, TX:

I'm writing this review with big dark circles under my eyes.

I couldn't put Ken and Jasmyn's book down. I just received it a couple of days ago and now I am finished. I admire and applaud them both for writing such a needed and timely book. I REALLY hope they are finding their way to Oprah and all those important channels to get this book out there. I don't know where to begin. I don't want to make this a long review but

The fact that Ken and Lynne looked at themselves in retrospect and were there solidly for their daughter, even when there were so mad (she knew you were there and hated that she caused you to appear to others to "not be there") I fell in love with all of them while reading this book.

My husband is a stepfather and doing a great job of helping me raise my two boys (ages 10 and 15). However, it wasn't always a picnic. He had all his ideas on how boys should be raised, with them having a pretty dysfunctional father of their own. He just KNEW (not unlike Lynne) what they needed to shape up. We fought a lot, I was somewhat depressed when he would be too harsh. Because, like Lynne, he was very objective and could see what was really going on and what really needed fixing.

Parents should know how they REALLY affect their children even when they think their parenting and actions are doing something else.

Of all the parenting books I have read, this is so much in line and very much more palatable, because this topic of parents looking deeply at themselves as the source for their children's problems is very, very sensitive.

It speaks so well to what it is liked to be parented by us and by step parents.

I want to say how much I admire Ken & Jasmyn, I am just so moved by everything they have been through.

From D'Ann A., Springfield, Oregon

From Stephanie M., Salem, Oregon

Let us know what you think! Email us at ken@buyhesaidshesaid.com!

					*Reader Reviews* Reviewed by Beverly Pechin for Reader Views This is not another "How to Raise Your Kids" Instruction Book, written by those who have no children but all the knowledge of raising them because they read about it in some text book. I tire easily of those with degrees in child rearing who have never experienced the actual thing first hand, so my expectations when first looking at this type of book weren't that high. I figured Great, another know it all doctor who is going to tell you how to raise your kids; instead I began reading a true parent's ordeal with raising a daughter who began her life well-adjusted and nearly 'perfect' only to find nothing but a troubled life ahead. Click here to read the rest of the review .
					~~~ From Laurie O, Dallas, TX: I'm writing this review with big dark circles under my eyes. I couldn't put Ken and Jasmyn's book down. I just received it a couple of days ago and now I am finished. I admire and applaud them both for writing such a needed and timely book. I REALLY hope they are finding their way to Oprah and all those important channels to get this book out there. I don't know where to begin. I don't want to make this a long review but
					just want to say I was so moved and so touched by this book, it complemented and
					I verified so much of what I am thinking about. I hope parents really look at themselves and teach kids to cut their parents off at the pass when something unhealthy is going to happen.
					The fact that Ken and Lynne looked at themselves in retrospect and were there solidly for their daughter, even when there were so mad (she knew you were there and hated that she caused you to appear to others to "not be there") I fell in love with all of them while reading this book. My husband is a stepfather and doing a great job of helping me raise my two boys (ages 10 and 15). However, it wasn't always a picnic. He had all his ideas on how boys should be raised, with them having a pretty dysfunctional father of their own. He just KNEW (not unlike Lynne) what they needed to shape up. We fought a lot, I was somewhat depressed when he would be too harsh. Because, like Lynne, he was very objective and could see what was really going on and what really needed fixing. Parents should know how they REALLY affect their children even when they think their parenting and actions are doing something else. Of all the parenting books I have read, this is so much in line and very much more palatable, because this topic of parents looking deeply at themselves as the source for their children's problems is very, very sensitive. It speaks so well to what it is liked to be parented by us and by step parents. I want to say how much I admire Ken & Jasmyn, I am just so moved by everything they have been through.
					~~~ From D'Ann A., Springfield, Oregon After listening to you and your daughter on the radio my husband purchased "He Said, She Said." After reading the words, "I just don't want to lose her." I felt compelled to contact you. We are dealing with so much of the same things right now and at times it's so overwhelming. I am the step-mother. We have two teens that are out-of-control. A 15-year-old and a 17-year old. They live with their mother-- yet we are never far from the action. So much of what you describe is what we have been through with our children. As I read the book I feel the pain of a parent and yet I can remember what it felt like to be a child. I can relate to all of it. How amazing! We have dealt with suicide attempts and after reading the words, "I just don't want to lose her," I wept. It hit home in do many ways. Oddly enough, my family lives in Springfield, Oregon. We are neighbors! I have no idea if you might be interested, but I would love to meet you, your wife and daughter, if that's possible. You have so much to offer and we are so close that I feel it would be a shame not to connect somehow. I feel your daughter could be a wonderful example for my own. Thank you so much for writing this book. I plan to order and send it to my own parents. Even though they are well past raising teens, there are still great lessons to be learned. ~~~ From Stephanie M., Salem, Oregon Hi, I work for hillcrest youth correctional facility (a part of the Oregon Youth Authority). I recently read your article in the Oregonian and was fascinated by your story. Hillcrest holds an annual event for girl residents called the Women's Symposium. The Women's Symposium is a day we created to inspire and motivate the youth. This year's theme is Living Dreams-Making Memories. I tried contacting you through the writer of the article several times with no reply from the writer. I think you would be the perfect guest speaker for our event this year. We would love for you to come to Salem and speak about your experience as you have in the book. There are about 85 people who will be attending and you and the book will be acknowledged in our newsletter that goes out to several hundred people. We could pay for gas as well but have a very limited budget actually no budget. These youth have experienced almost exactly what I read in the article that you have and it would be such a motivator for them to hear from someone who was able to make amends with their family. This is very last minute and I apologize. I had given up hope on contacting you until I went to your website. The speaking part of the event could be anywhere from 15-30 minutes and I know you would make a difference in their lives. The Women's Symposium is scheduled for March 9, 2006 and you can come for the whole event or just the guest speaking which will be around 2pm. I can give you all of the details if you are interested but it would be very casual. Please let me know, you would make such a huge difference. ~~~ Let us know what you think! Email us at ken@buyhesaidshesaid.com!